Archive for the ‘Lagniappes’ Category

We may recall from last Friday that voting had started for best story in Astounding Outpost’s NEURAL NETS, UPLINKS, AND WETWARE anthology, in which my story “No Place to Hide” appears (see December 1).  The “prize” for the three top vote-getters is a bit more pay for their stories, but last I looked my story was running in about eighth place.  Well, okay, so in a way it may really be more a popularity contest, at least in part, for Astounding Outpost “regulars” of which I’m not one, but still. . . .

Well, still, votes are nice, and in the words of the immortal Yogi Berra (I think) it ain’t over till it’s over, so herewith be reminded that voting was to be for one week only, making today the LAST DAY.  So, should one have the urge, one may read “No Place to Hide” by pressing here, or, more to the immediate point, the page for voting can be found here.

Also, just below (December 4) I noted that bargain prices for my novel-in-stories TOMBS:  A CHRONICLE OF LATTER-DAY TIMES OF EARTH were still available on Amazon, both in print and in Kindle (for which *ahem* one may press the book’s picture in the center column).  A quick check today shows that substantial discounts are also to be found from Barnes and Noble, at least in print (though NOOK copies are also available for $8.49, marked down from $8.99), notably one copy for as low as $8.98.  Perhaps your favorite book dealer has discounted copies too.  Or, in any event, to check out B & N’s prices (and check as well for special sales which may apply, one of which that ends December 10 may be good for an additional 25 percent off one item with the code GETGIFTING), though with fewer reviews on their site, one need but press here.

Advertisements

“No Place to Hide,” a tale of interstellar war and the horrifying fates of some who fight it.  Space opera, maybe, but also a tale that fit the bill as described above — or at least so was the decision of the ASTOUNDING OUTPOST editors!  But there was a catch concerning payment, that all dogs in this fight would not be equal.  Or as the acceptance email put it:  “The voting to determine prizes will occur during the first week of December.  Be sure to let your friends and family know so they can vote for your story.”

Such was the post here November 13.  My story, “No Place to Hide,” originally published in SCIENCE FICTION REVIEW dated Summer 1991, had been reprinted in ASTOUNDING OUTPOST’s “Neural Nets, Uplinks, and Wetware” issue.  And now it is time for readers and fans to vote for their favorite story in the issue (e.g., *hint* “No Place to Hide”) because, to quote the publisher: Remember the top three fan favorites win cash and treasure.

What does that mean [to continue the quote]?  If you’re a fan pick your favorite story.  IF YOU’RE AN AUTHOR LET YOUR FANS KNOW ABOUT THE POLL.  Share it on social media, harass your neighbors, and beg your family to vote for your story.  We’re all family here, aren’t we?  But do not tarry, voting is only open for one week, ending next Thursday December 7.

So to vote for “No Place to Hide,” one need but press here, scroll down until you find the title, and vote, vote, vote (actually I don’t know what happens if someone tries to vote more than once, so why take a chance, ask your friends to vote too instead).  Remember . . . sufficient votes mean “cash and treasure,” pour moi!  (Not a lot of cash and treasure, maybe, but easily outstripping the average mammoth royalty individual stories of mine in other publications tend to receive.  And anyway every bit counts.)

Also, if you haven’t yet, to read “No Place to Hide” yourself press here.

We live in an amazing time, technology and humans are coexisting in a way we’ve never seen before. It also can be a terrifying time. What if humans and technology can’t coexist? What if the A.I. take over, or the computer viruses jump off of the net and into our biology? What if we’re just all living in a matrix? These are just some of the questions and ideas that have shaped science fiction and this call. Give us your visions of how it all plays out.

Send us your best 7500 word or less story that relates to Neural Nets, Uplinks, and Wetware. . . .

Such was the call (cf. November 2) and my response was to send them a rather short story, “No Place to Hide,” a tale of interstellar war and the horrifying fates of some who fight it.  Space opera, maybe, but also a tale that fit the bill as described above — or at least so was the decision of the ASTOUNDING OUTPOST editors!  But there was a catch concerning payment, that all dogs in this fight would not be equal.  Or as the acceptance email put it:  The voting to determine prizes will occur during the first week of December.  Be sure to let your friends and family know so they can vote for your story.

That’s right:  Vox populi est vox pecuniae.  Or, the tale with the most votes will get the most cash.  And now “No Place to Hide” has been published, and may be read by pressing here!

(So the moral is:  Read and enjoy.  Then on December 1 and for six days after please read it again and vote, vote vote!  Heck, this is America, have your friends vote too for “No Place to Hide.”  Your parents, your children.  Significant others.  Family pets. . . !

(And in the meantime, if you enjoy it scroll down to the end and please also consider leaving a comment.)

So, okay, this is another teeny horror/dark humor poem I read at the Bloomington Writers Guild’s “Last Sunday Poetry” last week (cf. September 24), but this being the afternoon of October’s “First Sunday Prose” (more on which later this p.m. or Monday morning), why not?  Actually it came up while perusing “Bloodizabeth’s Meat & Greet Dinner Party” on SLASHERMONSTER.COM and seeing one comment mentioning The Beatlles and “I Am the Walrus.”  So having this variant, as it were, in the quiver, why not shoot it into the “Comments” section as a comment upon the comment?  (And thus here, as an “extra,” for you.)

I AM A WALRUS

i have a walrus mustache,
& am hot for mermaids

An unseasonably warm sun-drenched day greeted September’s “Last Sunday Poetry Reading & Open Mic” (cf. May 29, et al.).  Co-sponsored by the Writers Guild at Bloomington and the Monroe County Convention Center, four local writers were featured this time, Jenny Kander, Thomas Tokarski, Doris Lynch, and Roger Pfingston, billed as “The Tuesday Poets” and offering a variety of styles and subject matter.  After the break, four walk-ons stepped up to read, offering a symmetry of sorts as well as a similar range of styles, of which I was the last with a series of very short, horror-related pieces, on tracking zombies, mermaids and vampires, Erzebet Bathory, and other such subjects, the best received of which — why not? — I’ll present here as well:

LAND OF MILK AND HONEY

It wasn’t bad
till they released the bears;
the cats came
of their own accord.

And so the autumn season begins. . . .

One quick note and one just for fun.  The quickie, as of Sunday a new review is up on Amazon for TOMBS:  A CHRONICLE OF LATTER-DAY TIMES OF EARTH, by Andrew Suhrer, a fellow author.  And it’s for five stars too!  In fact, all reviews both here and on B&N (three reviews there) are 5-star reviews, if I may so brag.  (Though to keep myself honest, there are two on Goodreads that aren’t quite as glowing.)  Nevertheless, for the ones on Amazon one may press here.

And then the fun part, fellow poet and Science Fiction and Fantasy Poetry Association member (and one-time editor of the SFPA journal STAR*LINE) Marge Simon posted a challenge a little while back, to compose a poem of twenty lines or less using the words “Vermin,” “Theremin,” “Decision,” and “Vitamin,” for e-publication in SFPA’s newsletter.  The best, also, would get an ice cream prize.  A half dozen or so of us responded and while, no, the prize-winner wasn’t mine, it was one of two that got honorable mentions.

Alas, I don’t think there’s a link to see all the poems if you’re not a member, but for more on the SFPA (see also, March 29, 22, et al.) one may press here.  And to read at least my poem, it’s right below:

MUSICAL SUMMER

Vermin infested the theremin,
roaches by the look of them,
probably the same that invaded the drugstore’ s
vitamin counter
two weeks before.
So now these super bugs
bursting with good health and bad decisions,
operating the instrument from inside,
wailed their hatred of all that was human
out beyond the stars.

 

Enjoy, enjoy!

A warm June day and, for something completely different, how about a post that doesn’t have anything to do with TOMBS (which is still on discount on Amazon last time I looked, incidentally, just click on its picture in the center column)?  Or, serendipity strikes once again!  See, it seems I was just moseying like through the Internets and what should I teacup_chappen across but a still-live link to a humorous saga concerning the herding of cats (ah, now, Triana), originally published in NUKETOWN in March 2001, but here reproduced as an electronic reprint from SPACE WESTERNS (SPACEWESTERNS.COM, from which also the illustration to the left), May 2007.*  So now as a lagniappe, a little free thing you get once in awhile for no particular reason at all except that it’s there, a kind of a story I don’t write too often, a tall tale:  “Catskinner Sweet and the Twirling Teacups of Deadwood City.”

To read, press here.
.

*As a curious footnote, this is also the only story I’ve had reprinted in the Netherlands, in the magazine WONDERWAAN for June 2011.  Translated in Dutch, for those who wish to know, the story appeared as “Kattendrijver Sweet en de Draaiende Theeschotels van Deadwood City.”

Told you so (cf. May 7; also April 28, 21 2015, et al.), and now it’s up.  A tale of les filles à les caissettes of New Orleans, in particular of the one named “Lo,” being interviewed by a reporter from the Times-Picayune.  But let’s let Short Mystery Fiction moderator Kevin R. Tipple make the formal announcement.

Today, James Dorr shares his “paranormal detective story” archived at DAILY SCIENCE FICTION titled “Dead Lines.”  James adds that the tale is also “. . . intended as a tip of the hat to Edgar Allan Poe as a father of the detective genre.”  While at the site, James has another story, “Casket Girls” in the archives for your reading pleasure.

So what’s the occasion?  May happens to be International Short Story Month and in celebration, the SMFS has been posting a story a day from society members throughout the month.  To see for yourself, one need but press here.  This takes you to the Society’s blog from which there’s not only the story du jour, but scrolling down (e.g, .mine will be one story below if you happen on this tomorrow, Friday May 12) you can read the stories of previous days all the way to May 1.  So how’s that for a deal?

And one thing more, as Kevin points out, an additional link to “Casket Girls” invites you to go to the background tale of les filles’ arrival at the Big Easy in 1728, and the one named Aimée.  And as a further bonus, when on the DAILY SF site if you type my last name in the search box on the right, you can find three additional  stories by me, though not in the New Orleanian series.

Something new indeed!  So said the email from the Science Fiction and Fantasy Poetry Association (SFPA):  We would like to try something new this year to get our members excited about and more involved in the Rhysling Award:  to post about the poets behind the poetry on our blog “SpecPo”.  We would like to post a brief bio, a picture and links to your poems online.  If your poem(s) is/are only available in print, please consider posting them to your own blog or website or an author’s website to which we could link.  Otherwise, we have access to the information and there’s no need to send a picture, bio or the links.  The idea is that six poets per day will be showcased starting on April 1 (which one hopes will not be a foolish omen) and continuing every other day for about six weeks with, if I’ve read the schedule right, my fifteen minutes of fame, or fraction thereof, on April 19.  At that time — or now as well, I suppose — the SpecPo blog will be able to be reached by pressing here.

Who knows, then, what picture of me they’ll have to post!  What biographical secrets they’ll reveal!  (Of the latter, just in case they’re out of date, don’t forget [*ahem*] I have a novel, TOMBS:  A CHRONICLE OF LATTER-DAY TIMES OF EARTH, coming out in June.)  Or, more to the point, my poem in this pea patch, “Godzilla vs. King Kong,” was published in the print-only journal DREAMS AND NIGHTMARES so where will they find the link to publish?  And so, for that last, why not . . . here (and note a small correction to lines 10-11 should you have the D&N copy with you).

.

GODZILLA VS. KING KONG

It came down to this, finally,
the fight of all fights,
Godzilla against the King,
armed with his radioactive bad breath
and his lizard cunning,
while what could a monkey do?
“Do what you do best,”
Kong’s trainer, Fay Wray, told him,
“climb if you can, or else throw feces at him.”
Well, climbing was pretty much out of the question
unless he climbed up Godzilla himself,
the skyscrapers of Tokyo already demolished,
but, vis-a-vis Kong, ‘Zilla wasn’t that tall
and the other plan didn’t seem sanitary.
So Kong made sure he’d had a good night’s sleep,
a hearty breakfast of bananas by the bunch,
then stood his ground in the city’s ruins
delighted when Godzilla, stomping nearer,
slipped suddenly on his breakfast’s discarded peels,
taking a dive, backward, into the harbor.
Godzilla could also breathe under water
so, soon enough, he was climbing back out
dripping mud and dead crabs,
except Kong, by then, had already accepted
the winner’s purse,
and was halfway back to his Skull Island home.

And why not, a little freebie for Valentine’s Day, in this case a portrait of Gloria Holden as DRACULA’S DAUGHTER, combined with a brief poem describing a scene that’s not in the movie.  Or in any vampire movie I’ve seen, come to think of it.

draculasdaughter

THE VAMPIRESS’S EMBARRASSMENT

she loved blood
but she hated the clots, when she laughed
and they came out her nose




  • My Books

    (Click on image for more information)
  • Chapbooks

  • Poetry

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

    Join 1,059 other followers