Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Well, the bio to be of me as author, of course, with the story in question “Holly Jolly,” a saga of cosplay and STAR TREK and Christmastide elves (cf. November 6, September 27).  Not to mention the big guy himself, Santa.  But, of me, the request came today from PLANET SCUMM editor Tyler Wonanin:  Could I get your author bio? Something written in third person between 80 and 150 words would work best.  And so back it has gone at something just under 135 words.

PLANET SCUMM, incidentally, is now open for post-Christmas issue submissions for those interested.  It’s semi-pro, paying $30 plus some profit sharing for up to 3000 words — not riches, but it looks kind of fun — with guidelines available by pressing here.


So sometimes we just have to get away from it all for a bit, and music hath charms, yes?  And do we remember MR. BURNS, A POST-ELECTRIC PLAY, celebrating the post-apocalyptic mythical status of the “Cape Feare” episode of THE SIMPSONS (see October 24, 2015)?  So it’s here as well, the Cape Feare episode noted that is, at Number 20 of “A Definitive Ranking of the 40 Best Songs in ‘The Simpsons,'” by Tom Victor, as presented — with clips! — via SHORTLIST.COM, which to see/hear for oneself one may press here.  If one might recall the protests of the 1960s, in a time when some protests may be back in fashion, check out Number 11, the almost definitive “Union Strike Folk Song” by Lisa Simpson (“We’ll march day and night,/ By the big cooling tower,/ They have the plant/ But we have the power”).  Or for pulling the stops on an all out production number, what could surpass “We Put the Spring in Springfield” at number 2?

But for Number 1 . . . well, it’s one I can’t show to the Goth cat Triana (or, there’s a reason “Horror” is in the key tags), but as long as the family pets are away you can find it yourself!

Well, the lighting seems a bit dark to my eye and it sounds like I might have made a hideous mistake early in the first poem, seemingly reading “or I’ll” for “or else” (hence implying Fay Wray would willingly get her hands dirty, doubtful in light of the second poem), but here it is, my reading of three poems “all revolving around everyone’s favorite, skyscraper-obsessed giant ape,” or so says the accompanying blurb.  And there, for Tuesday September 25, my public TV reading at the local WTIU studio (cf. September 18) of three Kong poems, “Godzilla vs. King Kong,” “On the Other Hand,” and “Monkey See,” for which press here.   (sigh)

Let us recall August 17’s post, including a reading of three vampire poetry presentations I taped for local public radio station WFUI’s “The Poet’s Weave.”  Today was the day for its TV equivalent at sister station WTIU with, according to producer Payton Knobeloch, possible airing on YouTube, etc., “as early as the end of the week.”  Or later, depending on editing, etc.

So, while the vampire readings will wait until closer to Halloween, this approximately three-minute set should appear in such places as YouTube quite a bit earlier, date and link to be shared on this blog if/as soon as I know myself.  Also unlike the radio, these poems were not that closely identified with horror as such, representing a celebration of movie great King Kong.  And to be sure, his love, Fay Wray.  Thus the poems themselves, “Godzilla vs. King Kong,” originally published in DREAMS AND NIGHTMARES, May 2016; “On the Other Hand” in GRIEVOUS ANGEL, 30 August 2015; and “Monkey See” in SPACE AND TIME, Fall 2011.

This one’s just one poem, of a group of three, but every one counts. The email came this afternoon from Editor Tyree Campbell:  I’m accepting one of these, “Escalations,” for the Winter 2019 [that’s this January] ILLUMEN, and you’ll receive payment with your contributor’s copy.  The poem itself is a dark humored one, some might say “silly,” a sort of riff on the classic film short “Bambi Meets Godzilla.”  As with many tales of horror, though, perhaps the real fear should be for what comes after.

Tyree continues, and I agree with him, [m]eanwhile, keep promoting poetry.  So many folks are terrified of it because they’re afraid someone might find out that they don’t understand it sometimes . . . it’s a never-ending battle for us publishers.  Poets, please take note.  While as for “Bambi Meets Godzilla,” to see it for yourself on YouTube press here.

Just a quick note, another list but one I want to save for myself courtesy of WordPress’s blog feed, “The Top 10 British Comedy Horror Films,” by C.M. Saunders.  I’m embarrassed to say I’ve only seen three of them myself (and maybe one of the Honorable Mentions), number one SHAUN OF THE DEAD, of course, and LESBIAN VAMPIRE KILLERS, plus AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON which almost doesn’t count as it pops up on TV from time to time on this side of the pond too.  But see for yourself by pressing here, and CARRY ON SCREAMING (number seven on the list and one of a series of British “CARRY ON” outings, this one parodying Hammer films).

Yesterday saw the arrival of STAR*LINE 41.3, for summer, in the computer cave’s postal mailbox.  My entry in this is “What She Learned” (cf. July 15), on page 22, a humorous poem of a novice vampiress and how she was warming to her new career.  STAR*LINE is the quarterly publication of the Science Fiction and Fantasy Poetry Association and with it came their annual DWARF STARS anthology of poems of ten lines or less, the best of which will be voted on by the SFPA membership.  More on it as well as STAR*LINE can be found on the SFPA website, for which one may press here.

Then speaking of vampires, this afternoon I read poetry at the Indiana University Radio-TV building for “The Poets Weave,” a series of five-minute poetry segments presented on WFIU, the University public radio station (see August 8).  I ended up reading three groups of four, three, and four poems each on the “who,” the “where,” and the “attraction” of vampirism, all from my 2011 collection VAMPS (A RETROSPECTIVE), preceded by brief quotations from Rudyard Kipling, Bram Stoker, and Sheridan Le Fanu, respectively.  According to coordinator LuAnn Johnson, these probably won’t be aired until fall, as the season of Halloween approaches, with more exact dates as they’re known to be reported here.

(Quoth the Press Release)  This is Book Four in the Alternatives Series of anthologies.

The Alternatives series looks at the social and political questions of the day with a mix of story, poetry, essay and, above all, a healthy bite of humor.

ALTERNATIVE THEOLOGIES takes its turn with a gentle look at religion.

A sensitive topic.

Henry Frederic Amiel said:  “Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are travelling the dark journey with us.  Oh be swift to love, make haste to be kind.”

And while this book explores theology and beliefs, it is written to be kind, thoughtful, and at times funny.

It will make you laugh, and it will make you think, but it will also give you an understanding of how diverse people see belief.

And so it goes, Tuesday, August 14.  This is the official release date for B Cubed Press’s ALTERNATIVE THEOLOGIES:  PARABLES FOR THE MODERN WORLD (cf. August 11, 10, et al.), and now with a newly integrated Amazon page where both Kindle and print copies can be obtained!  But is it Book Four or only Book Three?  One has seen it both ways.  The answer, I think, is there are two other books with the actual word “Alternative” in their titles, ALTERNATIVE TRUTHS and MORE ALTERNATIVE TRUTHS:  STORIES FROM THE RESISTANCE, both of tales of America in a post-Trump world.  But there is one other, AFTER THE ORANGE:  RUIN AND RECOVERY, so that can be counted as Volume three — or not, depending on how you see it.

In any event, all three — or four! — have now been officially published by B Cubed Press.  And to check out the latest (in print OR Kindle, both choices are offered, and both with my poem “Tit for Tat” because, yes, I have a kit in this kaboodle too) one need but press here.

A very quick addendum:  ALTERNATIVE THEOLOGIES: PARABLES FOR A MODERN WORLD (cf. just below) is now available on Amazon too, at a fairly modest $12.25.  Weirdly enough, though, there’s no link between this and the Kindle edition, so they must be found via separate links, the one for the hard copy being right here.

Moving fast, the “other” Things Maybe Forbidden anthology is back in the news as well, this time with the Kindle edition of ALTERNATIVE THEOLOGIES:  PARABLES FOR THE MODERN WORLD (see August 5, July 30, et al.) up for pre-order.  For info, press here or, to order directly, here.  The official release date according to Amazon will be August 14, next Tuesday, with a print version also expected in the near future.

My owl in this ossuary is a poem (just one in this anthology, sorry 😉 ), “Tit for Tat,” about a little boy named Willie who liked to do lots of things that were forbidden.  And not just before he died and was buried.

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