Archive for December, 2017
Triana looks forward to the New Year
The full title is HYPERION & THEIA VOLUME ONE: SATURNALIA and my planetoid in this particular poke (hey, it’s the end of the year, okay?) is a very long poem that begins the volume, “Dreaming Saturn” (cf. December 3, et al.). The volume itself can be checked out by pressing here and it’s sort of a weird one, to celebrate (to quote from their web page) the ancient Roman 
festival of Saturn in December, which was a period of general merrymaking and was the predecessor of Christmas. Or to go to the guidelines back about a year ago: A time of revelry and reversal, Saturnalia represents the breakdown of what has been deemed the natural order. Hyperion and Theia’s inaugural volume wants stories and poetry that runs the gamut of genres and turns expectations on their heads. Submit a fantastical murder-mystery set in the biggest carnival in Atlantis. Wow us with a sweeping romance in space where gods and goddesses serve their creations after a bloody war.
And now, to close out the old year (well almost, but today is the last postal day since tomorrow’s a Sunday), the print copy is here!
“Panic and a head full of snot are not a match made in heaven.” That was the first line; that was the challenge. Years ago, to write a story using that first line, which was just wacky enough that I did write that story, the tale of a laundry policeman with allergies vs. a giant soiled clothes monster titled “Got Them Wash Day Blues.” Not surprisingly, it was taking some time to find a market.
But then came the call, from Juliana Rew of Third Flatiron Publishing, buyers not that long ago of my “Dead Girls, Dying Girls” for their Kurt Vonnegut CAT’S BREAKFAST tribute anthology (cf. 
July 11, June 15, et al.) among others and known sometimes for an eccentric sense of humor, a new anthology set for spring to be called MONSTROSITIES. Things that are just too big or that don’t scale. Whether it’s the new shopping mall down the street, kaiju attacking Tokyo, flawed utopian ideas, the supposed ultimate weapon, or somebody who’s way too big for his britches, we all have had to deal with humongous blunders. Get it off your chest–share with us your favorite monstrosities. Hmmmm. . . .
And so yesterday afternoon came the email. We definitely want “Got Them Washday Blues.” Let us know if still available and we’ll get back with a contract in January.
More to be revealed here as it becomes known.
So as December fades into the new year, Daniel Kurland and BLOODY-DISGUSTING.COM have offered this interesting list: “The 10 Best Foreign Horror Films of 2017.” And the neat thing is, I’ve already seen and even reviewed one (Hi there, Indiana University Cinema!), Poland’s THE LURE, for which see below for April 25. It’s fourth on the list for what that’s worth — the films are
n’t overtly stated to be arranged from best to worst, or vice versa — sandwiched between Portugal with THE FOREST OF LOST SOULS and Mexico’s anthology movie MEXICO BARBARO II. Last on the list is the Mexican/French WE ARE THE FLESH while the feature begins with Turkey’s THE HOUSEWIFE, with the remaining entries VERONICA (Mexico), COLD HELL (Germany), SALVATION (Spain), and DANUR: I CAN SEE GHOSTS and BADOET (both from Indonesia). To see for oneself, with a photo (the one shown here, above, is from MEXICO BARBARO II) and a brief description for each, press here.
Word has come from Bards and Sages Publishing’s Julie Ann Dawson that THE SOCIETY OF MISFIT STORIES PRESENTS. . . VOLUME ONE (see December 9, October 16, et al.) has been nominated for Best Anthology in the 2017 Preditors and Editors Reader’s Poll. Lead story in the volume happens to be by me, winning its spot as best of 
its year in THE SOCIETY OF MISFIT STORIES’ own poll, a fantasy mystery originally published in ALFRED HITCHCOCKS MYSTERY MAGAZINE titled “By Force and Against the King’s Peace.” And so, if you voted for me or not, you can now vote for the entire anthology by pressing here. (But beware if you do. The announcement cautions that [u]nfortunately, the voting process is a little cumbersome. Make sure to confirm your email address after voting so that the vote counts. The good news is that you only need to confirm your address the first time.)
Also, if you’d like to know more about THE SOCIETY OF MISFIT STORIES itself (or even possibly buy a copy of Volume 1 — just scroll on down the page until you come to a link), press here.
Lava is between 1,300 and 2,200 degrees. It’s so hot you wouldn’t even cook or burn — you would flash boil, which means all your water would turn to steam. Since you’re mostly water, this is bad. Once your water converted to gas you would turn into a bubbly mess, and all that bubbling would churn and broil the lava into big lava fountains. These fountains can shoot up surprisingly high, five or six feet, and they would cover you in the stuff.
So haven’t you wondered what would happen if unfriendly zealots sacrificed you by tossing you into the local volcano? Of course you have — but the above tells only part of the answer (for instance, if the heat weren’t a problem, the fall might very well kill you too). And what about if you’re shot from a cannon? Or swallowed by a whale? Well, fret no more because answers can be 
had in AND THEN YOU’RE DEAD, by Cody Cassidy and Paul Doherty. In fact, I’ve just ordered a copy from Amazon myself.
Why? Well, I’m a horror writer and I just came across it on a list (ah, another of these . . . ), “21 Science Books that Make Excellent Gifts” by Mary Beth Griggs on POPSCI.COM, and finding a cheap copy how could I resist? Another on the list for horror fans is one I already have, FROM HERE TO ETERNITY, in which [m]ortician Caitlin Doughty looks at our approach to death across cultures and technologies, from “skeleton farms” to crematoriums to mummification rituals. The author has a detached fascination with death, and after reading FROM HERE TO ETERNITY your friend might, too. But if you like science fiction as well, you don’t have to have a science degree to read the other titles cited, such as PSYCHOLOGY: THE COMIC BOOK INTRODUCTION or, pictured, THE ENDS OF THE WORLD. Or SOONISH (on near-future technological likelihoods — lots of robots here), or ASTROPHYSICS FOR PEOPLE IN A HURRY, or SPACEPORT EARTH.
So it’s not too late if you can find one of these in a bookstore (though for shopping on the web, the earliest for the one I just ordered is stated as December 29) but Christmas gifting’s not the real point, is it? The point is these are books you might want to have for yourself.
For more, press here.
Woo hoo! We may recall from December 7, et al., that voting was ending for best story in Astounding Outpost’s NEURAL NETS, UPLINKS, AND WETWARE anthology, in which my story “No Place to Hide” appears. Results are now in! 0riginally published in the long-dead pro magazine SCIENCE FICTION REVIEW in 1991, “No Place to Hide” has ended up in a hotly contested tie for eighth place. But wait — there’s more.
As it happens, in addition to first, second, and third places, there was one other award to be given. Or, to quote from the guidelines: In addition, one story picked by the editors, not voters, will receive 15 dollars via paypal and a custom T-shirt from the Astounding Outpost. This is the equivalent of the second voted-on prize in terms of loot received (in more recent anthologies, a print copy will replace the T-shirt, but NEURAL NETS is the last 
that’s available in Kindle form only) and, as it turns out, it seems there’s a dance in the old dame yet.* Or, to quote again from the source: After a very rough editorial battle, we can announce the WINNERS OF Neural Nets, Uplinks, and Wetware. First place goes to Burner, second goes to Catching Cameron Ellis, third to Never Lonely. The editors choice goes to No Place to Hide. Congratulations to the Neural Nets winners. To check out the site for oneself, press here (then, to find the stories as well, press “Astounding Stories” at the upper right, but be prepared to scroll way, way down since the stories to be in the next anthology are in the process of being added).
One might then add that all stories, including the winners, can be read in the Kindle edition of NEURAL NETS, UPLINKS, AND WETWARE which may be purchased by clicking here. (And also all writers receive a royalty on copies sold, so if enough of you . . . well, it does add up.)
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*”a dance. . . ,” incidentally, is actually a quote that I couldn’t resist from ARCHY AND MEHITABEL (1927), one of a series of books by Don Marquis. The specific poem is “The Song of Mehitabel,” the memoir of a somewhat disreputable alley cat (Triana, take note!) as transcribed by her friend, the cockroach Archy, and may be read by pressing here.
tourjours gai tourjours gai
Roughly half the movies cited in “13 Best Horror Movies of 2017,” by Orrin Grey on THE-LINE-UP.COM, are also noted in July 5’s post, below, “Best 2017 Horror Films Thus Far” — which figures, if you think about it. So, THE BLACKCOAT’S DAUGHTER (check), IT (check), THE GIRL WITH THE GIFTS (check), RAW (check), they’re all 
there. THE DEVIL’S CANDY (check). Six films in all, and now seven are added to represent the year’s second half, such as HAPPY DEATH DAY and BETTER WATCH OUT. THE BELKO EXPERIMENT. . . .
It’s all just one person’s opinion, of course, but for a fear-filled Christmastide’s viewing it’s one place to start, for more on which press here.
Last night brought 2017’s closing “Second Thursday Players Pub Spoken Word Series” (cf. October 13, et al.), co-sponsored by the Bloomington Writers Guild, and featuring three radio play presentations, Lucille Fletcher’s SORRY, WRONG NUMBER; Ray Bradbury’s IT BURNS ME UP!; and by William S. Burroiughs, THE JUNKY’S CHRISTMAS. Added were musical performances by local group Urban Deer and an open mike session with six takers, in which I appeared fourth. It was an interesting and exciting evening, a little bit out of the normal run, my par
t of which was a “First Sundays” reprise of my short short “The Worst Christmas Ever” (see December 4), this time to a largely different audience. Also as an extra, cover charge proceeds were earmarked this time to the upcoming “Wounded Galaxies Festival 1968: Paris, Prague, Chicago Festival and Symposium,” scheduled for February next year, more of which will most likely be covered here (and for which in the meantime, including schedules, one can press here).
Then speaking of Christmas, DEADMAN’S TOME CTHULHU CHRISTMAS SPECIAL (for which see December 12, et al.) has proposed a competition, or in Editor/Publisher Jesse Dedman’s words: We’re approaching the end of 2017, and that means it’s time for a popularity contest. Now, remember that this is all in good fun. I personally will sit out on this vote as I enjoy every story in this collection, but please don’t follow my example. Spread the link out to as many people as possible. What does the winner get? C’mon, shouldn’t the reception be the prize? How about some beer money? $20 bucks (PayPal) and a certificate. The contest and voting is care of Patreon and can be reached here.
To remind, MY story (*ahem*) is third on the list, “A Christmas Carnage,” recently cited by “JME” in her review on Amazon (December 12). And, technically, you don’t even have to have read the book to vote on the stories (though you really should — there’s a link on the voting page as well to where you can buy CTHULHU CHRISTMAS SPECIAL, in my opinion a great book for giving to one’s [twisted] friends too!). So do consider, buy, and vote (again, that’s “A Christmas Carnage”), okay?
jamesdorrwriter 